My dad once told me that his father used to say, "I wish I were your age and had my experience." Hidden in that phrase is a simple yet profound truth: youth has the energy, the future, the drive… but often lacks understanding. And experience, the kind that comes with age, always longs to return to the days when everything was still possible. Perhaps, if we could combine both, we would create something magical. But maybe life has already invented that magic… and called it children.  

Today we'll talk about our children. They are a blessing, a gift from God. It's amazing to watch them grow, to realize their individuality, even though they were raised in the same home. Some may resemble us physically, others in their personality, and still others not at all, but their mannerisms when they speak to us give them away. The love we have for them is undeniable; what often changes is the way we interact with each one, because they are all different.

We know that children come to teach us, but what we may not have realized is that they are a reflection of ourselves. Our children reflect who we are, not who we tell them they should be. Through their behavior, they show us what we have denied, what we haven't healed, what we still don't understand about ourselves. Some children fill us with tenderness and peace. Others seem to come into the world with the mission of testing us every day. And that is precisely what can help us—seeing the reflection, showing us what we need to heal.

Here I describe some types of children. There are Perfect Children : they always try to behave well, get good grades, are very responsible, seem ideal, but often they do it to gain approval; their worth lies in praise for what they do, not for who they are. Then there are Teacher Children : these are the ones who present us with constant challenges, question the rules, and often provoke intense emotions. These children force us to find new ways of understanding and managing the relationship, leading us to deep introspection. By challenging us, these children reveal unconscious projections and expectations that we parents have. It is an invaluable opportunity to learn about unconditional love and acceptance. The Savior Child: This is the child who comes to give meaning to our lives. Have you heard a mother or father say, "If it weren't for my child, I wouldn't be here anymore, or I don't know what would become of me"? Often, they become an emotional support, a companion, or even a figure who fills emotional voids. The danger of this interaction is that they are burdened with an emotional responsibility that doesn't belong to them. A child may grow up feeling that their worth depends on pleasing or caring for others. A child who doesn't let themselves be loved : They may seem distant, cold, or indifferent. In reality, they may be reflecting a wound of ours related to rejection, abandonment, or fear of intimacy.     

Educating is not about training, it's about transformation; being a parent is not simply about raising children. It is, in many cases, about re-educating ourselves. It's about looking back at who we were, what we didn't resolve, what we kept silent about. It's about accepting that the challenge of raising children is not about molding them into our own expectations, but about allowing them to mold us into an image of what we came here to learn.

Educating then becomes an act of humility: I don't teach them because I know everything. I teach them as I learn, as I rejoice, and as I get angry. "I wish I were your age and had your experience," perhaps our children would like that too, but while they walk, fall, get frustrated, and try again, we are by their side not only to teach, but to remind them of what we have forgotten: the freshness of life, the value of emotion, the urgency of play, and the strength of being oneself. They, without knowing it, save us from forgetting. And we, with luck, give them the tools not to get lost along the way.

If you'd like to delve deeper into this topic, I recommend reading the book "Your Child, Your Mirror" by Martha Alicia Chávez. I'll close this article with this thought-provoking quote: "Mom/Dad: I'm here to show you all the light that makes you shine and also everything that's in the shadows and that you need to work on. This is my gift; receive it." Sincerely, Your child.

Until next time…

Wendy Figueroa