No one escapes this stage. Each of us has experienced it, and if you have children, you'll have to go through it too. I once thought I'd been spared the usual complications with one of my daughters, but I realized that it comes sooner with some children and later with others, but it always comes.

A  It's a complicated stage because we parents want to understand and advise our children according to our own dreams and experiences, when they don't even know who they want to be, much less what they want to do. It's a stage where you have to understand that their little boat rocks more easily with the current because they don't yet know where they want to go. 

Currently it is  It's doubly complicated because most teenagers are building two identities: their real identity and their virtual identity. Only when maturity allows them to understand that they are one and the same, and that transparency will bring them peace, will they be able to integrate them and have a single identity. 

That's why parents need to be patient during this stage. We must let them know and feel that we support them in their decisions and that it's human to get confused and give up, but only to wash it and use it again.

Training for adult life, and to be able to successfully navigate this stage of empowerment  It starts from birth. From a very young age, we can give them the opportunity to make very small decisions, such as the color of shorts they want to wear, or the size of apple they want to eat.  And as they get older, these rules can be expanded, such as bathing times or the sport they want to play, but only after teaching them how to analyze what's best for them. Negotiation is an important part of training, but remind them that some things are non-negotiable.

During adolescence, the prefrontal cortex, which helps us make decisions, is still developing; therefore, it is essential that we provide learning opportunities and  Decision-making, because we can still support them. Once they leave home, they will be prepared to make the best decisions because they will have already had practice scenarios that prepared them, and they will be able to make good choices. Never demand that a child or adolescent make a decision without first giving them the tools, because they will make bad decisions, and these will shape them.  Low self-esteem. Also, don't do things for them that they can do themselves because it makes them believe they are incapable and not enough, and that they will always need you.

 Equip your children to go out into the world without you; prepare them to be what they want to be, not what others want them to be.  They want you to be (including yourself). Give them all your love while still fulfilling your role as a mother: advising, correcting, and educating them.

We are human mothers who make mistakes,  But what we must show our teenage children is that every day we strive to be better people, better professionals, better parents, better friends, better children of God, and it is the example that inspires.

 Finally, remember that when your children are teenagers, you are not responsible for the decisions they make, but you are responsible for the environment they are in.  Let them take them. Twelve years ago, we moved to Canada with our three children, imagining it was a great opportunity for everyone. When my older daughters entered adolescence, we couldn't resist. It was like swimming against the current with no hope of reaching a safe harbor. So we decided to return to Guatemala, where this stage hasn't been easy, but at least you can surround your children with an environment that reflects your own values ​​and beliefs, and even have the moral support of friends and family who share the same feelings.

 When you're desperate, you might think your children aren't listening, but they are. You might think they don't care about you, but they're always watching you. You might think you're making a lot of mistakes, but you're growing. You might think this stage will never end, but it does. They will always love you, they will never stop loving you, you will never stop being their mother, and no one can take that title away from you.  Then come  the good times when you are appreciated and valued  Your effort, especially when they experience motherhood. And if they don't, then your satisfaction in having played your part will be enough to make you feel fulfilled and happy.

Don't hold onto guilt; the decisions you made at the time were the best you could have made with the limited or abundant resources you had. Never judge your past through the lens of the present, because it's no longer objective. You are amazing, and you always will be.

Ms. Meiby Lisset  Argueta de Pérez

Clinical Psychologist. Master's degrees in Education and Social Sciences

Certified TNS Therapist

MACTE Certified Montessori Guide
Fb: Montessori 4U