Have you noticed that the predominant feeling we experience when facing a challenge is fear? Fear that manifests itself alongside thoughts and beliefs that make us question our abilities, that make us believe we aren't enough or that we lack what's necessary. Someone said that the phrase "do not fear" is written 365 times in the Bible. It's remarkable that this happens because it suggests that one of the most common emotions in human beings is fear.We're afraid of being alone, afraid of not being enough, afraid of rejection, of abandonment, of not being loved, afraid of being who we truly want to be, afraid of setting boundaries, and afraid of crossing those that don't benefit us, afraid of confrontation, afraid of what others will say, afraid of silence, and so we allow that fear to stop us, hold us back, sabotage us. 

The Book of Proverbs points out that fear in man lays a snare, and indeed, that is how it can be perceived: a snare, a snare that prevents us from expressing ourselves, from being free to achieve what we desire or dream of. However, it is pertinent to ask: where or why does this fear arise in human beings? It arises from lack, from the pain of wounds, from the negative words that impacted both our childhood and that of our parents, for we are a reflection of what they once were or received.And it is these wounds and beliefs in the soul that prevent us from living according to our abilities, instead forcing us to live according to our deficiencies. 

Consequently, fear stems from low self-esteem, a product of the rejection and abandonment experienced in childhood. This leads us to perceive ourselves as unwanted, causing us to seek validation in everything we do, even in our own image, in order to be accepted and valued by others. Furthermore, when our hearts are marked by the absence of our parents, a great emotional need arises, leading to emotional dependency and a search for approval from others, thus limiting our capacity to receive what God has in store for us.

In this sense, life becomes a struggle with thoughts that hold us back and keep us anchored to places, situations, and even people that drain our lives, under the belief that things will soon be different or that we are there because we must be strong, when that strength is nothing more than masochism disguised as sacrifice because we somehow prefer to suffer rather than change!

Indeed, our experiences have significantly shaped our emotions and beliefs; however, this doesn't mean we should remain stuck forever. While we may not have been responsible for the pain we suffered, we are now responsible for what we do with what we've experienced.It's our choice to remain in a victim role, conditioned by fear, or to learn the lessons and rewrite our story. It's not about blaming anyone, because doing so would lead us to repeat patterns, since we wouldn't see within ourselves the reason why we should be different. Nor is it about lamenting or seeking change from others; change begins within us, through relinquishing all those thoughts that have guided and limited us and replacing them with the truth that sets us free—a truth we find in God and His word. It's not about waiting for others to approve of us; it's about accepting and loving ourselves as God has already loved and accepted us in Christ. It's not about ceasing to feel fear, it's about acting despite it, with the certainty that we are capable, that we will succeed because God is the one who guides and strengthens us. 

God wants us to be free, and we will achieve that freedom by renewing our way of thinking according to His word, breaking free from the mold we've settled into—a mold of suffering and victimization. We must understand that achieving emotional freedom is often a challenging process because it's achieved without seeking substitutes for happiness that numb the pain, such as unhealthy attachments to people and even harmful substances.Being emotionally and mentally free means taking steps of faith, knowing that God will open the way and His divine providence will supply our needs. Being free means renouncing old beliefs, old thought patterns, old bitterness in our hearts, relinquishing the false identity that prevents us from living according to God's plan for us, and adopting within ourselves the new identity created by God in Christ Jesus, to achieve great purposes, for our own blessing and the blessing of others. To be free is to smile, to love, to dream, and to enjoy each day the blessing of being alive because there is something great that bears our name and is waiting to be attained. 

Raquel Godoy

Educational psychologist