According to scientific research, 95% of the information that guides our lives operates at an unconscious level. This implies that a large part of our actions, words, and beliefs are not the result of conscious decisions, but rather a reflection, a mandate of this information that we have inherited or acquired, even from our mother's womb.

 
This information includes fears, traumas, and behavioral patterns. Our minds are filled with beliefs, many of them limiting. Therefore, when faced with a challenge, negative thinking often prevails, leading us to doubt our ability to achieve goals or overcome obstacles. We repeat patterns and stories, including situations with toxic people who, precisely because of this unconscious information, we believe we need.

We become dependent on affection, attention, or help; we don't know how to set boundaries, prioritizing the needs of others over our own, because if we don't, we feel guilty or afraid that our refusal to meet their demands will provoke their rejection. And when we see the painful results of all this in our lives, that's when we ask ourselves, "Why is all this happening to us?"

 
To care for ourselves and transform our history of suffering into a fulfilling life, it's essential to become aware of the information that has guided us to this point. We must be observers of our own lives, awakening from the cycle of failure and chaos we've been living. The question is, how do we achieve this? To identify the information that governs our lives, we simply need to analyze the patterns, the people, and the painful situations that repeat themselves—not to blame them or victimize ourselves, but to learn by observing what these experiences reveal about ourselves.

When faced with stress, people often blame others before looking inward. We must understand that the circumstances surrounding us are merely a reflection of what lies within us. The suffering we experience isn't about mistreatment from others, but rather how we treat ourselves: doubting our abilities, belittling ourselves every time we fail. It's not that others don't value us; it's that we don't value who we are. It's not that others take advantage of us; it's that we haven't learned to set boundaries, not even with ourselves. It's not that others always end up abandoning us; it's that we abandon ourselves by giving up on dreams, allowing discouragement to drag us down into mediocrity, and neglecting our physical and emotional well-being.

  
It is essential to abandon the victim role and begin observing our surroundings to break free from harmful patterns, paying attention to the words we repeat to ourselves, that internal dialogue we maintain every day that reveals what we think of ourselves, prioritizing self-care, giving ourselves time to enjoy life, making a significant difference will lead us to a new beginning, a new way of living, free from guilt, and this is not selfishness, it is self-love, because we are responsible for our own change.
Learning to set boundaries by saying "no" to others as well as to ourselves, to do what we really want to do and not be driven by the fear of what others will say, being congruent between what we really feel and what we do, because when we do things we don't want to do, we deceive ourselves and that incongruence between what we really want and do only results in a symptom in our body, because the body will speak what we repress.

To achieve personal reinvention, to take care of ourselves, it is essential to recognize that everything begins within us. We must be aware that we are always projecting onto others what we don't see in ourselves, and that by knowing this, instead of pointing fingers and blaming, we begin to work on our own change. We will no longer live at the level of our limiting beliefs, but at the level of what we are capable of doing, because God has placed gifts and talents within us, and has also given us the necessary grace to begin again, but this time not from guilt, not from victimhood, but from learning.

Written by:
Raquel Godoy
godoyraquel74@yahoo.com